Nursing Twins--Part I

This is a long post, and still emotionally draining. I've decided to split it into 3 or 4 parts, just to give myself a break from reliving all the details. See Part II here.

I've mentioned once or twice about nursing the twins, but I've never really gone into any details about it.

Most people that I told I was planning to nurse the boys when I was pregnant kind of looked at me sideways and said something to the effect of "Good luck." I had no idea at the time that it would be this hard, and so emotional.

As a first-time mom who was not yet a practicing mother, I was completely oblivious to the art of nursing. I read everything I could get my hands on to prepare for twins, figuring out what gear to buy, what to pack for the hospital, how to care for our cloth diapers, what to expect with twin pregnancy, but I thought that breastfeeding just came naturally.

Everything that I read talked about the first hour after birth and how important establishing nursing is  during that time. So I thought that if we made it past 36 weeks and the boys stayed out of the NICU, I would just nurse them immediately and we'd be off and running. I even watched a video on how to tandem nurse them, so I just needed to make sure my My Breast Friend Twins nursing pillow was at the hospital, and we'd be good.

Enter reality: when the boys were born, L'aig's oxygen levels were a little low, so they showed him to me and whisked him off to the NICU to monitor him and put him on oxygen.

Bl'aig and I were moved to recovery, where they handed him to me and I just looked at him and thought, "Now what?" It was embarrassing to look at the nurse with a helpless shrug of my shoulders and admit that I had no idea what to do next.

I had a WONDERFUL team of nurses and techs while I was in the hospital. Every time I've been in their care (surprisingly, a lot in the past 6 months) I've had very well-trained and helpful, caring women, who either knew exactly what they were doing, or they found someone who did. Unfortunately, this particular nurse looked like she was a freshman in college and more than likely had just as much experience as I did nursing, which was none at the time. Bless her heart, she looked about as clueless as I did, and told me to just kind of hold the baby up to my breast and he would start suckling.

I tried this, and tried, and tried, and after about 5 minutes of not being able to connect (he had just been through a traumatic and tiring life event and was very sleepy), I unfortunately started having a bad reaction to the narcotics from my surgery, and threw up nasty green bile. A lot. So the nurse took Bl'aig back and put him in the bassinet, while I tried to clean myself up, amid heaving almost constantly for several minutes.

I was crushed. Not only had I not had a chance to even nurse L'aig, but Bl'aig and I were unsuccessful and I just knew there was no way we would be able to establish nursing for the long haul, since we hadn't done it in the first hour. As I sat there, helpless after my c-section, retching and miserable, I resigned myself to a lifetime of bottles and formula, regretting every piece of information I had read that did not help me through this rough time.

Mama and Bl'aig shortly after recovery

They gave me a shot to help with my nausea and I was wheeled down to the NICU to visit L'aig, who was recovering well, but still not ready to be released. I really don't remember much from the 30 or so minutes (I think, anyway) I was there, except that I could barely see him from my lying position in my bed. I felt so terrible that I wasn't able to hold him, let alone feed him.

They came in and finally took me to my room, where I think I tried to nurse Bl'aig again. The rest of that evening is such a blur to me; I know that my parents were there, Craig's parents were there, and his brother showed up, but other than that, I really can't tell you any details. I know that I asked to see the lactation specialist first thing in the morning, and I think they kicked everyone out around 11. I continued to try to nurse Bl'aig, and L'aig was released to us around 11 as well, and I tried nursing him throughout the night, even though he'd already been given formula in the NICU. I'm not sure how much either of the boys really got to eat during these first few hours, and I'm pretty sure they were both supplemented throughout the first night.

That's our first 12 hours of nursing. Amazingly, this story ends happily despite its dire beginnings. I'll have to finish this tale another day, though, because I'm spent just thinking about it. Tune in next time for part II.

Two healthy breast-fed 5 month old boys!

Today's encouraging verse: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans for a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11