The Past Few Weeks

I've decided I need to write, whether it's about nursing or not. Things have been pretty busy around here lately, with visiting family, spending time at the local pool, getting projects done for gifts, and starting solid foods! I haven't had a chance to sit down and outline everything else I want to talk about in my last nursing posts, so I've been avoiding them, which makes me want to avoid writing at all, since I can't do exactly what I want right now. But it's been too long, so I need to write something.

We have had so much fun spending time outside each day lately! Last week our pool opened, so we got to take the boys there in their cute little swim diapers and get their feet wet. The water was a little cold still, so we didn't get them too wet, but they seemed to enjoy the time we got to spend. We took a picnic one night and the boys got to see their first rainbow! There were several bunnies that came surprisingly close to us as well, so it felt like a Disney movie...until the rain started, that is. We had the best time laughing and eating our meal in the rain with the boys under cover in our laps!

Getting our piggies wet in the pool!

We also got to go to a park for the first time, for our nephew's birthday party. That was on a trip that I made by myself 3 hours away and overnight (my hubby had to work that day)! The boys were great and slept most of the way down and all the way back. It was wonderful to see our nephew and my brother and sister-in-law at home, instead of making them travel all the way up to see us again.

Kleyh family cousins

Yesterday, we had the most amazing blessing: some friends of ours from church have a 6-year-old son, and offered to give us all of his outgrown clothes! These 7 totes plus all the awesome clothing we had donated from a coworker and some from a mother of twin boys, and we haven't had to spend a dime on clothing our little guys! This is one of the huge perks of being a twin mom: people know you can use the goods!

7 totes of all size clothing for our little men!

We've also been working on sitting up with the Boppy pillows, and, even though neither one of the boys really rolls over, their sitting skills are quite impressive!

Bl'aig working his ab muscles by sitting up

 

Love L'aig's smile!

The last exciting thing we've done is start solid foods. We started with baby oatmeal and have worked our way up to 4 different veggies, 4 fruits, and 2 meats. They love peas, which I am happy for. That is one veggie I've never been fond of. We're adding new flavors every 3-4 days, and so far, no bad reactions, except the change in their diapers! We've also gone completely disposable, from a cloth/disposable hybrid. I just can't bring myself to pick up poo, unless it's the cat's.

L'aig trying his first bites of oatmeal

I guess that's all that's been going on around here lately. They certainly keep us busy, as they still nurse 3-4 times a day, get a bottle at night, eat 3 times a day, and go out for walks every afternoon.We also read every morning, work our abs out by sitting up, work in some tummy time, and take 2 naps a day! We keep a fairly regular schedule, but it makes for a full day. My boys (all 3 of them!) are an absolute blessing though.

Today's encouraging verse: For I too was a son to my father, still tender, and cherished by my mother. Then he taught me, and he said to me, “Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my  commands, and you will live." Proverbs 4:3-4

A Break from Nursing Posts

I need to take a break from reliving the nursing posts. I will get them done in the next week, but here is something on a different emotional tangent: 

One year ago, my husband and I were trying to wrap our heads around the fact that we were going to be parents to not only 1 tiny child, but two! What an interesting few days we spent coping with that new information...

We should have known better. For some reason, less than a week after I found out I was pregnant, I made the joke to him that it would be fun if it were twins. I even wrote in my pregnancy journal to the boys that I didn't know if I was writing to one or two babies. I don't know why. It's not like we have 3 sets of twins in our family, like the lady I spoke with today! It just took root in my mind, and from then on, I addressed the baby as "L'aig, or L'aigs (not sure)." I had read an article shortly thereafter that listed some commonalities among women who had twins (such as: tall in stature, overweight, over 30, black, etc.) and sent it to my husband, jokingly telling him that I fit almost half of the demographics (I'm obviously not black, lol!).

It just goes to show that God definitely has a sense of humor. We joked about twins for the next 9 weeks, even to our parents! They kind of rolled their eyes and said okay, knowing that our chances of having twins was pretty low, without having any sets in the family previously.

We had our 12 week appointment the Monday after Mothers' Day, so everyone in the family knew about it and was waiting to hear the results. I was nervous, just because this was our first glimpse into the health of our new child, so when my ob said that he couldn't hear the heartbeat through the doppler, my stomach dropped. I thought something had gone wrong, but he assured me that this happens frequently if the placenta is in the front, and ordered a sonogram for us while we were there.

We went into the darkened room to see the ultrasound technician, who was a sweet older lady who looked like she had done this thousands of times. She put us at ease and had me sit in the seat. She easily found the baby's head and what we saw on the screen was magical! L'aig was bouncing around and seemed to be doing just fine. She said the heartbeat was great and looked like she was about to wrap things up, when she frightened us by saying she was going to have to take a closer look at something.

We have had a tragic pregnancy in the immediate family, so at this point, I was pretty freaked out, thinking that there was something wrong with our baby. We addressed this with her, and she said, "I just need to get a closer look to see the other baby." I'm sure my jaw dropped. All I could say was, "You're joking," with an incredulous smile on my face. I turned to my hubby and we both instantly knew it was true.

We were both ecstatic and scared as we were ushered back to the ob's office to discuss the results. He was confident and calm, and told us just what we needed to hear: it was going to be okay, twins are born every day in that hospital, and that I was going to do great.

As soon as we made it down to the car, I called my mom to let her know the good news. I couldn't think to call anyone else in that state, so I asked her to pass the word along to everyone else. We went home and felt like we floated through the rest of the evening. I think we both burst out laughing sporadically until we finally went to sleep. I don't remember any of my dreams from that night.

The next morning was another story. The worries came. All the worries. How are we going to take care of them? How will we afford it? Will we have to move? Will my husband find a different job? What about all the gear? How will we afford college? Will they be healthy? Will I go full-term? Will they be in the NICU for weeks?

Thankfully, we serve a BIG God who can do anything, and has orchestrated our every move to get us where we are today, so we knew that we were well taken care of; but in the immediacy of that time, it was easy to let the "what ifs" get the majority of our mental energy. Obviously, we have made it and are thriving at this point, but it was pretty scary a year ago. Now, I thank God for our boys and everything they are. I couldn't imagine living without either one of them.

Baby A and Baby B at 12 weeks!

If you are a parent of twins, did you have a similar experience? How did you find out you were carrying multiples, and what was your reaction?

Today's encouraging verse: Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” Genesis 17:17

Pump It Up! Nursing Twins--Part IV

I had no idea these nursing posts would take so much energy and focus to get out. Every time I write, I think, "This should do it." Then, I start writing, and paragraphs later, I realize there's so much more to the story. I hope this is inspirational to someone that is thinking about nursing, or who has tried nursing, or who is nursing (whether one or more children), to know that your frustrations, fears, and anxieties are normal, and that you are doing what's best for you and your child(ren). If you think nursing sounds easy compared to all the gear and prep time bottle-feeding your child, I hope you'll keep this series in mind the next time you tell your nursing friend how lucky she is that she can just "do it anywhere, anytime."

Here is the next in the series. I plan to only have one more segment, although we'll see how that turns out when I get to the end of the next one. Here are links to Part I, Part II, and Part III so you can see how this journey started.

By God's grace, we all survived that first night at home. The next day was our newborn appointment with the pediatrician at her office, so I had set my alarm (not that I really needed to; the boys woke up hungry just in time) so we could leave on time. We fed the boys and packed the diaper bag, dressed ourselves (in sweats, of course), and packed our family in the car. Or, I should say, my hubby did. Since I had a c-section, I wasn't allowed to carry anything except the diaper bag for the first six weeks.


We arrived at the pediatrician's with 4 minutes to spare, and in my adrenaline/exhaustion state, I was satisfied that we had made it at all. I was on the verge of tears after our confusing night of trying to incorporate all the advice we had gathered at the hospital in the previous days, which caused me to be able to sleep no more than 45 minutes in a row. We checked in the boys, who were sleeping soundly, and got to rest in the waiting room for a few sweet minutes before being called back.

First trip to the pediatrician's! That is my best attempt at a smile with so little sleep.

Even after all of the nursing, pumping, and formula-feeding, our boys had both lost even more weight. They seemed so tiny to start with, I couldn't imagine how they could be any smaller now. The doctor came in and spoke with us, and she was such an encouragement! She asked how the first night home had gone, and I'm sure the looks on our faces and the circles under our eyes were all she had to see to know how we'd been through the wringer.

I had been so scared about my milk not coming in, or not having enough, that through the night, I even felt like I should have been pumping when I needed to sleep. S had made me so anxious about nursing and how every little thing affects your supply, that I was afraid to not try to follow every bit of advice to a "t." This included not supplementing with formula, even though our boys had lost over 10% of their weight in the hospital, where they had been supplemented.

We tried to describe what we had done the following night, after which the doctor nodded her head and said, "That sounds exhausting. Let me give you some advice." She proceeded to tell us to throw out all the advice we'd received in the hospital, even from herself, and to try a couple of things. If they weren't successful by the end of the weekend, she would see us on Monday and give us a couple more things to try. We left that appointment with so much more clarity than we had the previous day and were so thankful for it.

We had to come back the next Monday (our appointment was on Friday) for a weight check, but in the meantime, we were going to: 1) nurse each boy for 15 minutes to stimulate milk 2) feed each boy formula every feeding. So that was our mission for the weekend. She said that with only trying to feed milk, which hadn't even come in yet, the boys were hungry, so they weren't able to get to sleep, which caused them to be so fussy that we couldn't sleep either. By giving them enough formula, we were able to fill their tiny little tummies and satisfy them for a little while, which allowed us to rest a bit more that day.

I was still pumping after every feeding, which was about every 3-4 hours now, and was getting miniscule amounts of colostrum. I kept a written record, and we were able to feed each child 30 cc that afternoon. Pumping was exhausting. I felt so helpless, not being able to get up and change the boys, or get food ready for us, or bottles for them. I have a glider in the nursery that I had my pump and my Bible and iPod set up next to, so I spent most of the first few days in there, nursing and pumping. I started out with these teeny, tiny little containers that came from the hospital kit and could just barely fill the bottom of them. I think they measured 1.5 oz each. I thought that I would never be able to feed two kiddos with that!

My mom came that night to stay with us, and as soon as she got there, I was pumping, and to my absolute amazement, my milk had just started to come in!!!! Instead of slow, small drops, there were sprays of milk hitting the back of the container! I distinctly remember calling my mom over to show her and being so happy I was crying! From then on, I felt so much more confident, even after the disastrous start to the week. My body knew what to do!

From then on, we were on our way. We tweaked our method slightly the next day, by switching which child I nursed and which one took a bottle. I fed him on each side while Daddy or another family member fed the other boy double what we had been giving them. This seemed to work all right. I wanted to stimulate as much milk I could, so I decided to start pumping, just for 10 minutes, every 2 hours, as well as feeding one boy along with that. Soon, I was filling up those tiny little containers with milk and needing to dig out some larger ones. I didn't dare pull out the 5 oz bottles yet, though; that was an impossibility! I was getting about 2 oz every 2 hours, and that was plenty for our boys.

Today's encouraging verse: Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings; because we know that suffering produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4

Joy Comes in the Morning: Nursing Twins--Part III

As promised, here's the next bit of my twins' nursing story. You can read Part I and Part II to get caught up.

Taking the boys home from the hospital was completely surreal. Over the 4 days that I spent in the hospital, fall happened. We came home on Halloween, so the trees and bushes everywhere were completely transformed, which made the world I knew from before seem like a million lightyears away. Add to that the fact that I was no longer pregnant and we were on course for our apartment with 2 tiny lifeforms, made for a bewildering trip. My husband was talking non-stop to the boys in the backseat, although I'm sure they were probably asleep during the 10 minute drive home. Getting them inside with all our gear was a sight, I'm sure.

Beautiful fall colors outside our apartment bringing the boys home

That first night at home was absolutely terrifying. We thought we could do it on our own, but when we got home and fed the boys and put them in the pack n play in our room to sleep, we realized we had no idea what to do with them. Putting them in the nursery at the hospital was great to let us get some sleep, but we didn't know whether they had slept in a light space or dark, with lots of noise or quiet, if they had been rocked to sleep, or anything. We didn't know if they stayed up at night or if they were up during the day more; we basically freaked out! So we called my dad, who had been off work the entire week (he really gets into celebrating Halloween), to see if he could come stay the night with us for some additional support. He was able to come right over, and while he isn't the most mothering type, he was a great help and made the entire night easier.

I purchased a Medela breastpump because that was the most popular and the easiest to spot at all the stores we visited. I purchased mine (although I know you're not supposed to) via Craigslist, and it seemed to be in good working order. I had never seen one in use, so I had no frame of reference, and I was too afraid of prematurely triggering contractions during my pregnancy to even think of trying it out, so I hadn't yet had a chance to find out if it really worked. I bought new tubing for it and all new equipment, and cleaned it thoroughly weeks before I knew I would need it, so I thought I was ready.

The night we brought the boys home, I hooked up all my equipment and put it up to my breasts, and started panicking. It was working, but it was not sucking on both sides. I knew from the hospital pump what it was basically supposed to do, and it wasn't doing that, so I thought we would have to go out the next day and purchase a brand-new $400 one. I took all the tubes off and disconnected every piece I could, and tried it again, and found that it was not faulty, but that I must not have had something hooked up correctly, because after that, it worked like a charm. I wasn't getting but a few droplets, but that was to be expected at that time.

Our schedule that night went something like this: change the boys; nurse the boys, one at a time, then give each boy a supplement of formula; while one person is feeding the formula, I would nurse the second boy and then pump for 10 minutes afterward. We would put the boys down to sleep, I would eat because I was starving, and then we would get about 45 minutes of down-time before the next feeding. I remember lying down on my bed at one point that night, with my head spinning so badly from exhaustion that I thought I was falling out of bed. It was the worst feeling, knowing that I would barely get my eyes shut and then have to get up to start all over again.

I know my dad didn't feel like he really had much to do, while I was nursing and pumping, but just having him there made me feel so much better about what we were going through. He would hold the boys and give them their bottles while I was pumping or nursing the other one, and I think he even let my husband get an extra shift of sleep by doing this. It was a relief to know that we had an extra set of eyes and ears to help us hear when the boys were up, and I got to talk with him some while I was sitting there pumping. It was a little awkward sitting there with my breasts hanging out, and he was very respectful not to stare at me while we were talking, but we did get to joke about next year's Halloween costume and how I should go as a cow from now on.

I prayed more that night than I can remember doing at one time, for myself, my husband, and my boys, that we would have the strength to get through the night and I know that I would not have made it without God's mighty power. He was so good in helping us get some rest, and after the longest night I've ever lived through, the morning came and we had made it.

We were all exhausted and worse for the wear, but thankfully, we had family in town that could relieve Dad and let him go home and get some rest while the next shift stopped in.

Dad taking a shift with one of the boys

Today's encouraging verse: Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Psalm 30:4-5

Six Months!!

I can't believe it's been 6 months already! These precious little men take up so much of my time now, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I'll finish up with my nursing posts later this week (trust me, I want to get that out of my system and down on paper), but I just had to celebrate today! We've earned it!

One day I'll get to write about the ways God has been faithful to us throughout pregnancy and their first six months, but for now, suffice it to say that we are VERY blessed to have these two healthy, oh-so-happy, charming little guys in our lives.

Nursing Twins, or TMI!--Part II

Last time, I started my tale of establishing exclusively nursing my twin boys. I'll pick up where I left off:

The next morning, our boys had a procedure done and were brought to us extra sleepy, which made for a great time to get our newborn pictures taken when the hospital photographer came around. I was groggy from the events of the day before, so I still wasn't quite myself, but I didn't want to give up nursing just yet.

The lactation lady (M from here on out) came by and worked with me for a good portion of the morning. She showed me how to hold the boys one at a time and how to hold my breast so they could latch easily, and I was so grateful to have someone that could help. The boys were so sleepy that it was more instructional for me than it was feeding time for them. M was very hands-on, which was a little different, since my parents, husband, and I think even my grandparents were there. I have a funny anecdote about all that later in this story.

M made me feel fairly confident about what I was doing, and I even got to get up and try to nurse in a chair. She brought me a pump and told me to try pumping whatever I could get, and then feed that to the boys with a syringe. I felt pretty good about nursing by the time she left, and continued to try to nurse the boys throughout that first day. I was actually very surprised to be able to squeeze out the first drops of colostrum and realized that my body was working! I had hope, seeing those tiny beads of golden liquid and thinking that we had made it.

We had many visitors, which made the day very busy, and for two new parents with twins in the hospital, we were too inexperienced to ask people to leave so we could rest. I believe this is the main reason for the near-disaster that occurred that night, among all the emotions of being overwhelmed and recovering from major surgery.

That evening (after our first full day with our boys), I was trying to nurse the boys one at a time, while my hubby stood helplessly by. M had told him to try to help by keeping the boys awake while they were feeding, but there's only so much you can do when they're that little and still fighting the effects of all the drugs. So he got to witness first-hand as I literally melted down with one of the boys because I couldn't get him to latch on. I think the lack of sleep, being totally overwhelmed, and completely unprepared to nurse all contributed to it, but I was ready, right then and there, to throw in the towel and forget the whole thing. I couldn't get either boy to latch, and I knew that they had each been given formula all day to supplement, and I thought that there was no way we could recover from this.

God bless our sweet nurse; she witnessed the whole thing and just kept reassuring me that it would be okay. Finally, I gave up and we gave them bottles, while I was sobbing and telling my hubby that I didn't think I could do any more. He was wonderful, despite having been just as tired and overwhelmed. They took the boys to the nursery and we tried to get some sleep. They brought them in a few times overnight to try to nurse, and each time I would give them a few minutes, and then give them the supplements.

The next day, we decided to try to make things easier for ourselves by keeping visiting hours. We had a few people that wanted to come by, so we asked them to come outside of those times, so that we could both get some rest. There were a couple of surprise guests that the desk was gracious about turning away, which caused some friction later, but we really needed to regroup, so we felt it was the right thing to do.

Nursing went okay that day, although the pump they gave me gave out and I had to get it changed. I was pumping every feeding for a few minutes, and then we would dip our fingers in whatever drops to put in their tiny little mouths. I was getting miniscule amounts of colostrum and really didn't see how anyone could be fed off of that tiny bit of nourishment.

We had the same nurse for the third night in a row, which was wonderful, because we really liked her and she was so kind to us. I don't remember anything noteworthy about that night, except that I was dreading it being like the previous night. Thankfully, my fears were not realized and it went on without incident.

I asked to see the lactation consultant again before we left the hospital, to help reconcile the poor techniques or whatever had caused my problems the second night. M was off duty, so we got to meet S, a very knowledgeable mother of twins (all grown) and get her perspective. Since this was our last day in the hospital (they offered us another night, due to the timing of my surgery, but we declined in favor of trying things at home), I wanted to make sure that I had a good grasp of what to do and be able to get any questions answered.

S came and spoke with us (I don't remember her even touching me, as M did), and she gave us such a plethora of knowledge and "norms" that when she left, I looked at my husband and cried again. Every piece of information she told us was completely different from what M had said, and she made it sound like I was going to be nursing every minute of every day for the first year of their lives! I know that it is better to be informed than not, but there was so much information to wade through that my head was spinning and she made it sound impossible to do anything but nurse for those first crucial months.

Some examples of what was so overwhelming: a) babies like to cluster-feed, so they could eat 3 or 4 times in a 2 hour period; b) breastfed newborns need to eat every 2-3 hours; c) since I was nursing twins, I would need to pump 15-20 minutes after every feeding to stimulate supply; d) since I had flat nipples (apparently a common issue), I needed to pump 3-5 minutes before feeding them to prepare my nipples for latch. She also gave me nipple shields to help with the latch problem, but they created issues of their own, which I'll address in a different post. And to help with the nipple issue, she also gave me breast shields to wear inside my nursing bra at all times. And she told me it would be best if I wore a nursing bra at all times. So you can understand that getting all of this on the last day would be a little mystifying...

My hubby and I talked it over and I told him some of my concerns regarding all this and the points I was confused on (how can they cluster-feed but need to eat every 2-3 hours?!), and we ended up asking her to come back and clarify some things for us. I still didn't feel much better, but she invited us to the nursing class that meets at the hospital 2 times a week, where I could ask questions and get help with technique and other issues.

S was also there when our pediatrician came in and talked with us about the boys' weight loss, and our need to continue supplementing. She didn't say anything while the doc was there, but as soon as she left, she basically contradicted everything the doctor had told us, which was thoroughly confusing as well.

We were still supplementing the boys when they finally released us from the hospital that afternoon, and we were on our way home. Their glucose numbers were lower than they liked, so they sent us with several samples of formula and wished us luck, although we were scheduled to see the pediatrician at her office the next day. We were scared about whether they would lose more weight before then, but we knew that between the nursing attempts and the formula they should be okay.

That was our exciting 3 days in the hospital. One of these days I'll actually write out the birth story, and just reference these posts, but this is what I need to get out for now. Stay tuned for our first weeks at home with the boys next time!

14 hours after their birth, our precious twin boys

Today's encouraging verse: I can do all things through him who gives me strength. Phil. 4:13

Nursing Twins--Part I

This is a long post, and still emotionally draining. I've decided to split it into 3 or 4 parts, just to give myself a break from reliving all the details. See Part II here.

I've mentioned once or twice about nursing the twins, but I've never really gone into any details about it.

Most people that I told I was planning to nurse the boys when I was pregnant kind of looked at me sideways and said something to the effect of "Good luck." I had no idea at the time that it would be this hard, and so emotional.

As a first-time mom who was not yet a practicing mother, I was completely oblivious to the art of nursing. I read everything I could get my hands on to prepare for twins, figuring out what gear to buy, what to pack for the hospital, how to care for our cloth diapers, what to expect with twin pregnancy, but I thought that breastfeeding just came naturally.

Everything that I read talked about the first hour after birth and how important establishing nursing is  during that time. So I thought that if we made it past 36 weeks and the boys stayed out of the NICU, I would just nurse them immediately and we'd be off and running. I even watched a video on how to tandem nurse them, so I just needed to make sure my My Breast Friend Twins nursing pillow was at the hospital, and we'd be good.

Enter reality: when the boys were born, L'aig's oxygen levels were a little low, so they showed him to me and whisked him off to the NICU to monitor him and put him on oxygen.

Bl'aig and I were moved to recovery, where they handed him to me and I just looked at him and thought, "Now what?" It was embarrassing to look at the nurse with a helpless shrug of my shoulders and admit that I had no idea what to do next.

I had a WONDERFUL team of nurses and techs while I was in the hospital. Every time I've been in their care (surprisingly, a lot in the past 6 months) I've had very well-trained and helpful, caring women, who either knew exactly what they were doing, or they found someone who did. Unfortunately, this particular nurse looked like she was a freshman in college and more than likely had just as much experience as I did nursing, which was none at the time. Bless her heart, she looked about as clueless as I did, and told me to just kind of hold the baby up to my breast and he would start suckling.

I tried this, and tried, and tried, and after about 5 minutes of not being able to connect (he had just been through a traumatic and tiring life event and was very sleepy), I unfortunately started having a bad reaction to the narcotics from my surgery, and threw up nasty green bile. A lot. So the nurse took Bl'aig back and put him in the bassinet, while I tried to clean myself up, amid heaving almost constantly for several minutes.

I was crushed. Not only had I not had a chance to even nurse L'aig, but Bl'aig and I were unsuccessful and I just knew there was no way we would be able to establish nursing for the long haul, since we hadn't done it in the first hour. As I sat there, helpless after my c-section, retching and miserable, I resigned myself to a lifetime of bottles and formula, regretting every piece of information I had read that did not help me through this rough time.

Mama and Bl'aig shortly after recovery

They gave me a shot to help with my nausea and I was wheeled down to the NICU to visit L'aig, who was recovering well, but still not ready to be released. I really don't remember much from the 30 or so minutes (I think, anyway) I was there, except that I could barely see him from my lying position in my bed. I felt so terrible that I wasn't able to hold him, let alone feed him.

They came in and finally took me to my room, where I think I tried to nurse Bl'aig again. The rest of that evening is such a blur to me; I know that my parents were there, Craig's parents were there, and his brother showed up, but other than that, I really can't tell you any details. I know that I asked to see the lactation specialist first thing in the morning, and I think they kicked everyone out around 11. I continued to try to nurse Bl'aig, and L'aig was released to us around 11 as well, and I tried nursing him throughout the night, even though he'd already been given formula in the NICU. I'm not sure how much either of the boys really got to eat during these first few hours, and I'm pretty sure they were both supplemented throughout the first night.

That's our first 12 hours of nursing. Amazingly, this story ends happily despite its dire beginnings. I'll have to finish this tale another day, though, because I'm spent just thinking about it. Tune in next time for part II.

Two healthy breast-fed 5 month old boys!

Today's encouraging verse: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans for a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

When Everyone is Sick

We have had the most sickness in this house we've had since our marriage. I can't think of a time that both my husband and I were sick.

Thankfully, today is beautiful out, so the boys and I can open up the apartment to let in some fresh air, and get out of the germ-infested rooms.

It was just a cold, but having both me and my husband sick made for some low-key days. It is hard enough to get everything done with the boys and walk away feeling like I got to interact with them. We read together, play games (they love peek-a-boo now!), sing, and work on rolling over several times a day. In addition to this, I also do laundry every other day, which includes our labor-intensive cloth diapers, keep the place picked up (a task in itself), take care of the cat (except the litter box--that's Craig's job), go for walks almost daily, nurse the boys several times a day, knit and crochet orders for my Etsy shop, teach private lessons, grocery shop and cook a majority of the time.

I know it was just for a couple of days, and I was sick and barely functioning, but it felt like I was doing the boys a disservice by not being as playful and fun. Add to the sickness that I couldn't fall asleep several nights in a row, and I was downright lethargic. We did only the bare minimum and I felt terrible for being sick, and for not being able to play with them as normal.

I am a fairly healthy person and tend to not get sick very often, if ever. I guess it never occurred to me that this could happen after the boys were born, and we weren't very prepared for it. Thankfully, aside from a few extra sneezes, the boys seem unaffected by our colds, and hopefully will continue to be. We felt much better over the weekend, and Craig even went back to work today, so hopefully this is all behind us.

No more red noses and scratchy throats!

Today's encouraging verse: Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts. Psalm 145:3-4

Train Up a Child...

My husband and I are not rich by any means. In fact, we've each made some very dumb decisions when it comes to money. Those stories are for another blog, for another day. One thing we've been very diligent about since we got married is living within our means. I am proud to say that we have not purchased one dollar on credit since the day we got married, and probably, since before we were engaged. We have worked hard over the last 2 and a half years to save and pay for what we have, and God has blessed us immensely with many generous gifts in the meantime. I truly believe this is a result of how we have turned our lives around and become good stewards of what He has given us.

When I was making terrible money mistakes, I heard of this Dave Ramsey guy, whom most of you probably know of. I was immediately inspired by all of the debt-free screams on his radio show, and listened to it almost daily, as I was working part-time at the time. I have wanted to go through his Financial Peace University ever since, but couldn't afford it at the time, and when I got married, my hubby couldn't see the point of "paying for common sense."

Persistence pays off, because just recently, I caught a great deal on Dave's CD's and we were able to listen to FPU at home. We learned about all of Dave's principles, from saving, to purchasing, investing, and insurances. My favorite lesson from the entire series is his lesson on giving, which wraps up the class.

The thing that hit me the hardest about that lesson is being able to pass on a legacy of not only zero debt, but a spirit of giving to our children. We are not all the way through the Baby Steps, but we are working our way through one day at a time. I am excited to be able to start our sons' lives by showing them a life without payments and being able to give to others. This is the best thing I can think of to be able to do for them, apart from helping them to know God.

Today's encouraging verse: Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it. The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. Proverbs 22:6-7

20 weeks old!

One of my favorite things about my children is the noises they each make. While being a twin mom has its challenges, I think one of the greatest rewards is hearing your children "talk" with and entertain each other.

I wish I could record all of the wonderful sounds that come from these boys' lips, but they are, at the time, very sporadic and spontaneous, and therefore hard to capture. Suffice it to say that both of my boys should be great vocalists (which makes their mommy very proud!) based on the vocalises they do every day. L'aig is great at getting up into his falsetto, and Bl'aig loves to sputter around on his lower tones.

We are going through bibs like crazy due to the amount of saliva dripping down their chests, and the bubbles are wonderful additions to the sounds and gurgles they make. I love listening to them coo and tell us stories, as their eyes light up when they realize that we are communicating back with them by listening and responding. One day soon, they'll be speaking to us in words and sharing ideas with us!

I try to spend as much face-to-face time with each of them as possible, but, as you can probably imagine, it is hard to do with 2 mini people. Hopefully they'll be able to communicate well enough with each other that neither one of them feels neglected by me. We are all doing the best we can.

Today's encouraging verse: "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. " Luke 21:33

L;aig's wide smile, usually accompanied by a squeal

Bl'aig celebrating St. Pat's with us

Playtime!

We are finally getting to the point where we have a pretty good routine. I've been waking up in the mornings, nursing both boys, reading to them, playing games and singing songs, and then they both generally fall asleep pretty quickly. This has worked well for us since about the middle of January, which is pretty cool!

One thing that we've been able to incorporate the last few days is some playtime, mixed with a little tummy time, our least favorite activity of the day. We have the jungle gym mat shown here that the boys have only recently not minded being laid on for longer than a few minutes. During that time, up until recently, we've had to sit there and entertain them, or, at least, convince them not to cry. And forget tummy time. That's the worst!

Saturday morning, we left Bl'aig on the mat for nearly an hour after his brother had fallen asleep in the other room, and he cooed and laughed and loved nearly ever minute of it! We were thrilled!! Since then, we've tried just setting the boys on it (face up) and letting them gawk at the colors and toys. Occasionally, I'll flip one of them over and rub his back while he's on his tummy, which is getting less disagreeable. After they've cried sufficiently and lifted their heads a few times, I'll flip them back over (I only flip one at a time!) and they are pretty much distracted from their discomfort by the colorful things.

This new discovery is so liberating! They aren't crying to be held at all times, I'm not constantly trying to get them to nap so I can get things done, and they are learning before my eyes! I had them both on the mat for over an hour and a half yesterday (L'aig did 2 hours!) and they both were purposefully using their arms and hands to grab things, reaching across their bodies (I think I'm going to have at least one lefty), and bringing things with accuracy to their mouths. It was so cool to watch! I was even able to fix dinner while they entertained themselves.

It is amazing to watch their growth and development every day. I can't believe how much they are changing on a daily basis. I wonder what the next month will hold for us?

Today's verse: This is the day that the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it! Psalm 118:24

4 Months and Counting!

I don't know how best to explain how quickly and how slowly the last 4 months have simultaneously gone by.

On the one hand, I feel like I've been nursing, changing, bathing, watching, and caring for these little men FOREVER. I've been at home with them every day (except when I had that major abdominal surgery...) since they were born. There are hours that feel like they'll never end, let alone days when I can't wait for my hubby to walk through the door to give me some relief.

On the other hand, it's only been four months and they've grown and learned and developed SO much in that time. I remember being in the hospital, thinking we were in no way qualified to bring these boys home and care for them. They were so small and fragile, and I was so afraid that they might even just slip through my fingers. Now they laugh, smile, play, and hold "conversations" with us on a regular basis, and each of them has so much personality.

While staying home with them full-time, I get to see how much they can do, and it is obvious to me with whom I am playing. Sometimes I get frustrated with friends and family who can't even tell them apart, until I realize they've only seen the boys a few times. What really gets me is when people are holding the boys and they expect them to just fall asleep or snuggle in their arms, because that's all they think babies are capable of. I just want to tell them that my boys can do so much more, try interacting with them a little!

They really are so much fun, and while not every day is easy (like today: we got shots this morning), every day has something good in it.

I'm sure the next few days will pass quickly, leaving me wondering what happened to the last week already, but I hope we're able to slow down and enjoy the moments as they pass. Until next time...

Today's verse: "Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34

My favorite 4 month old boys

The View from Here

As a mother of twins, some days turn out completely different from the way you imagine them.
For instance, I have started making daily to-do's to help me stay focused and actually accomplish some large projects bit by bit since the boys were born. I write them on sticky notes and relish crossing them off one at a time. Today's were to walk with the boys outside or do my Zumba tape, fold laundry, write on each of my blogs, work on a new crochet project, and post some more items to my Etsy shop. This did not seem like so much when I added these items up.

I started a blog post while the boys were napping this morning, after folding the laundry. My arthritis was bothering me, so I knew Zumba was out of the picture, but perhaps a brisk walk outside this afternoon would suffice. Two paragraphs in to writing, both boys instantly woke up crying (a thing that's been happening more lately), wanting to be fed. I changed them and fed them, made a quick lunch for myself, while they digested some, then did our obligatory tummy time (more on that in another post).

After tummy time, both boys were inconsolable, so I did what I always do when I can't get either one of them to stop crying: I nursed them again. Judge me if you want, but if you have twins, you understand. I know that I won't always be able to bribe them into calmness with food, but as little as they are, it's not hurting them. So, our stroll outside was post-poned.

After they had nursed, they both seemed to be asleep, or so I thought. Within 10 seconds, they were both screeching like banshees again, so I took out my secret weapon and nursed them again. I thought for sure they would be full and finished within about 10 minutes, but no, they had another full nursing session before they fell into a deep sleep.

I don't dare move them when this happens, because they need it and I fear they won't get back to sleep, and it's some of the only time I get to snuggle with both my sons at the same time.

All this is to say that today has not turned out at all like I expected, as we have all been here on the couch napping for over an hour and a half. When you're a new mother, and even more so a new mother of twins, you can't be too set in your own plans, and you have to accept that some days you just might not get anything of "value" accomplished. But you get those snuggles and moments that you will wish you had more of when they are older.

Today is one of those days.

Here is the view from where I sit right now. It's the best seat in the house.

 

 Today's encouraging verse: Do not overwork to be rich; Because of your own understanding, cease! Will you set your eyes on that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; They fly away like an eagle toward heaven. Proverbs 23:4-5

 

It's Been a Long Time Coming...

Well, I started this blog with one entry, and later that same day, my life changed forever. We are now the parents of wonderful, happy, growing, loving baby boys! For the sake of their privacy, I will refer to the boys by their in utero names, L'aig and Bl'aig (another story for another day...).

I will post the actual events of the day at a later time, but for now I really just wanted to post something; as I've told my husband, it is so much easier to keep pushing it back until it's been so long I don't even care anymore. I want to chronicle these times, because I know that someday soon, it will feel like only yesterday these boys were born and they are already having families of their own.

We are all healthy, somewhat happy, and are excited for all of the new obstacles ahead of us. We've learned so much already, which I'll have to start writing about sooner rather than later. But here's a start.

Until next time!

My wonderful family at 10 weeks after their birth

Today's encouraging verse (found on a plaque on our mantle; I stare at it every time I'm feeding the  boys): Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think on these things. Philippians 4:8