Last time, I started my tale of establishing exclusively nursing my twin boys. I'll pick up where I left off:
The next morning, our boys had a procedure done and were brought to us extra sleepy, which made for a great time to get our newborn pictures taken when the hospital photographer came around. I was groggy from the events of the day before, so I still wasn't quite myself, but I didn't want to give up nursing just yet.
The lactation lady (M from here on out) came by and worked with me for a good portion of the morning. She showed me how to hold the boys one at a time and how to hold my breast so they could latch easily, and I was so grateful to have someone that could help. The boys were so sleepy that it was more instructional for me than it was feeding time for them. M was very hands-on, which was a little different, since my parents, husband, and I think even my grandparents were there. I have a funny anecdote about all that later in this story.
M made me feel fairly confident about what I was doing, and I even got to get up and try to nurse in a chair. She brought me a pump and told me to try pumping whatever I could get, and then feed that to the boys with a syringe. I felt pretty good about nursing by the time she left, and continued to try to nurse the boys throughout that first day. I was actually very surprised to be able to squeeze out the first drops of colostrum and realized that my body was working! I had hope, seeing those tiny beads of golden liquid and thinking that we had made it.
We had many visitors, which made the day very busy, and for two new parents with twins in the hospital, we were too inexperienced to ask people to leave so we could rest. I believe this is the main reason for the near-disaster that occurred that night, among all the emotions of being overwhelmed and recovering from major surgery.
That evening (after our first full day with our boys), I was trying to nurse the boys one at a time, while my hubby stood helplessly by. M had told him to try to help by keeping the boys awake while they were feeding, but there's only so much you can do when they're that little and still fighting the effects of all the drugs. So he got to witness first-hand as I literally melted down with one of the boys because I couldn't get him to latch on. I think the lack of sleep, being totally overwhelmed, and completely unprepared to nurse all contributed to it, but I was ready, right then and there, to throw in the towel and forget the whole thing. I couldn't get either boy to latch, and I knew that they had each been given formula all day to supplement, and I thought that there was no way we could recover from this.
God bless our sweet nurse; she witnessed the whole thing and just kept reassuring me that it would be okay. Finally, I gave up and we gave them bottles, while I was sobbing and telling my hubby that I didn't think I could do any more. He was wonderful, despite having been just as tired and overwhelmed. They took the boys to the nursery and we tried to get some sleep. They brought them in a few times overnight to try to nurse, and each time I would give them a few minutes, and then give them the supplements.
The next day, we decided to try to make things easier for ourselves by keeping visiting hours. We had a few people that wanted to come by, so we asked them to come outside of those times, so that we could both get some rest. There were a couple of surprise guests that the desk was gracious about turning away, which caused some friction later, but we really needed to regroup, so we felt it was the right thing to do.
Nursing went okay that day, although the pump they gave me gave out and I had to get it changed. I was pumping every feeding for a few minutes, and then we would dip our fingers in whatever drops to put in their tiny little mouths. I was getting miniscule amounts of colostrum and really didn't see how anyone could be fed off of that tiny bit of nourishment.
We had the same nurse for the third night in a row, which was wonderful, because we really liked her and she was so kind to us. I don't remember anything noteworthy about that night, except that I was dreading it being like the previous night. Thankfully, my fears were not realized and it went on without incident.
I asked to see the lactation consultant again before we left the hospital, to help reconcile the poor techniques or whatever had caused my problems the second night. M was off duty, so we got to meet S, a very knowledgeable mother of twins (all grown) and get her perspective. Since this was our last day in the hospital (they offered us another night, due to the timing of my surgery, but we declined in favor of trying things at home), I wanted to make sure that I had a good grasp of what to do and be able to get any questions answered.
S came and spoke with us (I don't remember her even touching me, as M did), and she gave us such a plethora of knowledge and "norms" that when she left, I looked at my husband and cried again. Every piece of information she told us was completely different from what M had said, and she made it sound like I was going to be nursing every minute of every day for the first year of their lives! I know that it is better to be informed than not, but there was so much information to wade through that my head was spinning and she made it sound impossible to do anything but nurse for those first crucial months.
Some examples of what was so overwhelming: a) babies like to cluster-feed, so they could eat 3 or 4 times in a 2 hour period; b) breastfed newborns need to eat every 2-3 hours; c) since I was nursing twins, I would need to pump 15-20 minutes after every feeding to stimulate supply; d) since I had flat nipples (apparently a common issue), I needed to pump 3-5 minutes before feeding them to prepare my nipples for latch. She also gave me nipple shields to help with the latch problem, but they created issues of their own, which I'll address in a different post. And to help with the nipple issue, she also gave me breast shields to wear inside my nursing bra
at all times. And she told me it would be best if I wore a nursing bra
at all times. So you can understand that getting all of this on the last day would be a little mystifying...
My hubby and I talked it over and I told him some of my concerns regarding all this and the points I was confused on (how can they cluster-feed but need to eat every 2-3 hours?!), and we ended up asking her to come back and clarify some things for us. I still didn't feel much better, but she invited us to the nursing class that meets at the hospital 2 times a week, where I could ask questions and get help with technique and other issues.
S was also there when our pediatrician came in and talked with us about the boys' weight loss, and our need to continue supplementing. She didn't say anything while the doc was there, but as soon as she left, she basically contradicted everything the doctor had told us, which was thoroughly confusing as well.
We were still supplementing the boys when they finally released us from the hospital that afternoon, and we were on our way home. Their glucose numbers were lower than they liked, so they sent us with several samples of formula and wished us luck, although we were scheduled to see the pediatrician at her office the next day. We were scared about whether they would lose more weight before then, but we knew that between the nursing attempts and the formula they should be okay.
That was our exciting 3 days in the hospital. One of these days I'll actually write out the birth story, and just reference these posts, but this is what I need to get out for now. Stay tuned for our first weeks at home with the boys next time!
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| 14 hours after their birth, our precious twin boys |
Today's encouraging verse: I can do all things through him who gives me strength. Phil. 4:13
