Election Day

I don't care what your political views are, election day is an important privilege we share in this blessed nation. As long as I have the right to vote, I will vote.

I tried to explain the importance of this to my toddlers as well, in light of standing in line for over an hour at the poll this afternoon. They did such a good job, but they were very disappointed when we left and they hadn't gotten to vote. The nice gentleman even gave me an extra sticker when he saw I put mine in Tyson, so Isaac wouldn't feel left out. 

We got home just in time for naps this afternoon, but not after I assured them that they would also get the chance to vote at home this evening. I didn't realize how upset they would be for not getting to cast their ballots, so I made up some of my own.

 

They were so excited to get to vote on their favorite foods, colors, modes of transportation, and desserts! I am not the best artist, but they knew exactly what they drawings were, so I am happy. We tallied the votes, and the results were unanimous on nearly every issue. Isaac voted for all the warm colors, so we had to toss out the ballot on that question. 

I'm so proud of them for wanting to take part in today's historic events, and for how seriously they took their own voting. I hope they remember this and will learn from my and my husband's example how important it is to make your voice heard when given the opportunity.

I pray for this nation and everyone that's a part of it, including our current and incumbent leaders. God appoints leaders and uses them for His purposes, so however the map looks tomorrow morning, God is still in control.

Today's encouraging verse: "I will restore your leaders as in days of old, your rulers as at the beginning. Afterward you will be called the City of Righteousness, the Faithful City." Isaiah 1:26

Time to tell...

I wish it weren't always 10 pm when I have time to myself to collect my thoughts and write. Unfortunately, this seems to be the only time I have to get anything done that isn't laundry, dishes, nursing the baby, taking a shower, bathing the twins, or breaking up arguments between them. By the time I get to this point in the day, it's always a battle over the things I know I should do (spending time with my hubby, reading and praying, sleeping) and the things I want to do, like putting my thoughts down in print.

I have a little time tonight, so I thought I would share what's been going on that is consuming most of my mental and emotional energy right now.

My dad has always been a big guy. Not just tall (he's 6' 2" or so), but large. He's always been over 200, and in the past 10 years since his parents died, his brother died suddenly, and he had two major injuries that kept him from working for months at a time, he has put on many more pounds. He got up to just under 500 last summer and injured his back from carrying all that weight around.

Last October, after he had lost about 15 pounds preparing for his surgery

We prayed, prayed, and prayed some more that he would seek help for his weight problem, because they refused to do anything to help his back due to how heavy he was. He couldn't stand to be on his feet, which is what his job requires him to do every day for 8 hours, so as soon as he got home he would plant himself on the couch and only get up to go to the bathroom and bed. He couldn't play with his grandchildren because he hurt so badly.

I had mentioned to my mom several times about bariatric surgery because I knew at least 4 people who had undergone the procedure and had amazing results. Finally, my husband and I got up the courage to talk to Dad about it, and even brought over some brochures to share with him from one of my friends. He was thinking about it, as a last resort, and decided to look into it.

Praise God, in February (the day after our first ultrasound for Samuel), he had gastric bypass surgery and everything seemed to go great. He lost over 200 pounds between last summer when he went to the informational meeting and started making changes and when we moved in July. Then he started having trouble keeping food down.

He had a minor procedure done to stretch his muscles, which is somewhat common after bariatric surgery, but after the 2nd time having it done, he was still having the same problems. It got so bad that he would vomit even after having just water to drink. This went on far too long (nearly a month) and he was becoming dehydrated, so he finally admitted himself to the ER at the beginning of October. After a week of being on IV fluids and running a few tests, they started looking for other causes of his vomiting and found his white blood cell count was high.

We learned a few days later that he has stage 4 stomach cancer, which is apparently treatable but not curable or operable. He started chemo yesterday and is going every 2 weeks for 6 months to fight it.

This has been heartbreaking, especially after all that he's gone through to live healthier. He looked so good this summer, better than I can remember him looking since I was little. He had energy, he walked with his head held high for the first time in many years, not shrinking back because of his weight. He played with his 3 grandsons and most importantly, was not in pain. After the month of failed attempts at rectifying the issues, now he looks almost eerily thin, his muscles are weak and deteriorating and his skin just hangs off him.

One year later, just after learning about his cancer

My mom is barely hanging on. She is so strong, because she has to be, but I know it's killing her inside to see him go through this. She is a Christian, so she has her faith to help her through, but we are still not sure whether Dad is truly saved or not. We have presented the Gospel to him many times, have prayed with him and for him to know and have an eternal relationship with the One True God, but we have never gotten reassurance that he is in fact saved.

If you are the praying type, please say a prayer for my family. For my dad, for complete healing and for his spirit not to be broken, and for his salvation; for my mom, that she has the energy to keep encouraging him and to help him get through this. Thank you so much and God bless.

Today's encouraging verse:  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

One month and counting

Samuel is one month old, and while things haven't been easy, they are definitely not as hard as I thought raising 2 toddlers with a newborn would be. It was so much easier to get rest when the twins were newborn, because it didn't matter when I slept, as long as they were both asleep. I could nap any time, because we didn't really leave the house during the first 6 months, and as long as my hubby made it to work, I could sleep as I could get it.

Having 2 older children makes that a lot harder to do, as we have hard-wired them to go to bed at 9 pm and wake around 8 am. If the baby is fussy overnight, or chooses to have his excessively cute awake periods at 4 am, I get to deal with it, and still be up when my wonderful boys come in and tell me "Hi" at 7:45 sharp. We have spent many mornings "resting" in Mommy's bed until I can get my eyes to stay open.

The boys had a hard time adjusting to Mommy and Daddy being occupied by the baby so much, especially the first week or two. Thankfully, Thomas and Chuggington have helped to pacify them a little. They still bicker and quarrel if they are left alone to play with their toys, but at least they don't cry all the time anymore.

I need to go take care of the baby, so I need to cut this short. There is a lot going on in my family right now that I might share soon, but please send prayers our way for peace and comfort in this trying time. On top of everything else, this is causing me to lose more sleep than the baby. Thank you in advance.



Today's encouraging verse: "Can any one of you by worrying add an hour to your life?" Matthew 6:27

3 weeks old!

I've been meaning to post for several days now, but there were other pressing matters to attend to, with 3 under 3 and a household to take care of. And volleyball season is in full swing, and while I planned to take off the entire year, we've bounced back a lot better than I thought we would, and they desperately needed officials, so I reffed a few nights since he was born as well. 

We made it through a whole week of my husband being back at work. We even went to the dentist Wednesday, followed immediately by my women's Bible study group that same morning.While we're all a little worse for the wear, we made it, and everyone got fed, slept most nights, and the house is still fairly in tact. I did rely heavily on Thomas and Friends to help me occupy the twins, but considering they rarely watched any TV until about 6 months ago, I'd say they're doing okay. I'd like to spend more time on structured activities (like painting, coloring, crafting, playing outside, walking, going to the zoo and library) with them in the future, but for now, getting them to play nicely with each other downstairs or do a puzzle without fighting are small victories.

Samuel is a champ and we love having him as part of our family. He's such a great sleeper, has really done a good job at nursing, and is pretty easy-going compared to the toddlers that demand a greater deal of our attention. He is gaining weight great (over 1/2 a pound above his birth weight at 2 weeks!) and sleeps most of the time during the night. 

Speaking of sleeping, he just woke up so it's time to eat! I'll try to write more over the next week. God bless!

Today's encouraging verse: "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope." Romans 5:3-4

Gratuitous Photo Sharing

Not to brag, but I think I have a pretty adorable baby. We did some newborn photos today as well as some with the twins and the whole family, and I just thought I would share some with you.

I'll hopefully have a more substantial post in the next few days, but the baby is sleeping and I would love to get more than 5 hours before church tomorrow. Until next time!

Today's encouraging verse: "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Isaiah 46:4

Home again

I never expected to fall this much in love with another human. I've been in love, have felt that infatuation, that need to be where the other person is, that drive to do anything to be with them. I had that when my hubby and I were courting. I may have had it with other relationships before him. I was certain that when we got married, it would be the last time I felt that way about someone. I was mistaken.

I still love my husband dearly, but over the last 5 years, the heart-racing, mind-consuming love has turned into the deep, committed, beautiful and lasting love of a lifetime partner. And it's wonderful!

This little man has completely won my heart in the time it takes for him to fall sound asleep on my chest after a feed. I love absolutely everything about him, from his tiny little nose, to the way he curls up like a little rock on my chest, to the cute little cry, and the sneaky look he gets when he's digging in for a meal. He has so much of his brothers in him, yet he is completely his own little personality. I love him.

What makes me most excited, though, is the way his brothers dote on him, the way they already include him in their games and conversations, the way Teeny tells me, "I want to kiss little baby Samuel on his forehead." One of my most frequent prayers has been that they would love him and not feel threatened by his presence, and I haven't felt that from either of them one bit. Isaac just came up the stairs and turned around and pointed and said, "There's baby Samuel," and walked on. On his way back down the stairs, he waved and said, "I will see you when I get back up." 

I love how they say his name too. Isaac has a slight lisp, so Samuel comes out "Thhhamuel" each time. Tyson uses the most robotic voice to tell him, "It will be all right, baby Samuel." It is adorable.

I know it won't always be this way; the sibling rivalry will eventually rear its ugly head, the twins will resent having to share everything they own with yet another person, but for today, it is all I could ask for.

Today's encouraging verse: "And when God had me wander from my father's household, I said to her, 'This is how you can show your love to me: everywhere we go, say of me, "He is my brother." ' " Genesis 20:13

Happy Birth Day!

Not going to make this long, but I thought I'd share our great news with you: Blessing is here!

Let me introduce you to the latest member of our Patterson clan, Mr. Samuel Brodrick Patterson! Weighing 9 lb 15 oz, he made his debut yesterday morning via c-section and is 22 inches tall! He is precious, beautiful, and his Big Brothers are very proud of him and love him already. More cute photos to come in following posts. For now, good night and God bless!

Today's encouraging verse: "For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him." 1 Samuel 1:27

12 hours and counting...

Until we meet our newest family member! After an interesting conversation with my OB yesterday, we decided it was in my and the baby's best interest to schedule a c-section. 

He has been encouraging me all along to go ahead with the VBAC, saying that I have a great build for childbirth and that I seem to be strong enough to power through anything. I took both of those things as compliments, although I know what he really means is that I have a really big pelvis and I'm stubborn enough to suffer through the pain of labor and delivery ;-) 

When we passed my estimated due date this Monday, he was getting concerned that I am not dilated at all, my cervix doesn't seem to be ripening, and that the baby seems to be in no hurry to come. I challenged him with my due date theory, and he recalculated based on all the ultrasounds we've had and Blessing's approximate size, and found that I could be correct, but he wanted another ultrasound with biophysical report to make sure that he is still doing well. Everything came back great except he is measuring over 10 1/2 pounds! I thought I would be giving birth to a large kiddo, but didn't expect him to be that big. I also know from the twins that those estimated weights can be off by over a pound, as the boys were each measured the morning I delivered at over a pound less than they actually weighed. 

This news alarmed us both. When we talked afterward, he said that he was very much for VBAC (which many doctors tend to shy away from), but in this case, there is a great chance that if I deliver vaginally, there could be a lot of tearing and bruising, Blessing could get stuck in the birth canal, he could suffer a shoulder injury, or there is a better chance of my uterus actually rupturing. None of those options sounded like something I wanted to deal with or live with the guilt of after a fairly easy pregnancy, so I told him I would discuss with my husband about what we needed to do. 

Of course, I know there are plenty of risks with c-sections, let alone repeat c-sections, but in the end we prayerfully considered the options and decided to go with the guaranteed delivery date and what we hope will be a wonderful and joyous outcome for all of us. It doesn't hurt that both his and my parents were off for the long weekend, my brother and his family were planning to come from out of town, and Craig will get an extra day of leave since he works for a bank :-)

That's how I got scheduled for a 7:30 am delivery in September. Of course, I have to be there way before the rooster crows tomorrow, so I really need to cut this off and go to bed, but hopefully in about 12 more hours the surgery will be completed, I will be in recovery with my newest little son, and everyone will be rejoicing in the waiting room. 

I am a little disappointed that I will have 3 children and have no idea what labor is like. I'm not one of those people that thinks childbirth is the most beautiful thing ever, nor was I planning to do it without meds. To be honest, I was terrified to be responsible for knowing when I actually went in to labor (I've got no idea how to control pain and was scared to be in that much of it), so I prayed Wednesday morning that God would be blatantly obvious with me, have my water break or something, so I would know that it was time. I was planning to have an epidural at the first twinge of uncomfort, and was afraid that Blessing's head would be too large and I'd end up having a massive tear or an episiotomy. I know it's not always in the way that we expect, but God did answer my prayer, and the answer was "c-section." I can't argue with that. 

That all being said, I would appreciate prayers and thoughts as we once again prepare to grow our little family. Prayer for a safe and uneventful delivery, a healthy baby boy, a quick recovery, and a restful time in the hospital, followed by a joyous reunion with the twins and homecoming later this weekend would be most appreciated. The boys were shipped away to Grandma's for the weekend, which is another very emotional tale in itself. I can't wait to see them again, but I know I need to rest and spend time getting to know Blessing. 

I was planning to be asleep over an hour ago so I can get a good night's sleep in before our appointment. I need to go. Wish us luck and pray for us all if you're so inclined. Thank you and God bless!

Today's encouraging verse: "'Though the mountains may shake and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10

Due or due not...

Today was my due date. I know that this is only an estimate and that very few women actually have their babies on the actual due date, but I had a weird sense all day that maybe Blessing would come. He's got a little over an hour if he is.

I am still fairly certain he will come in September. Lucky for me, that's only a little over 2 days from now. Then our lives will completely change. I still have a hard time grasping how different our lives will be from these last couple of weeks. Things are slowing down at work for my hubby, since they hired and trained a few extra bodies, we've been unpacked and just able to live in our new home, I feel good since he's dropped and my acid reflux is not as strong, and we've all had time to enjoy life as we knew it before the stressful moving season dropped upon us.

I was actually quite bored last week. I practically begged my hubby to go out of town over the weekend, although I knew venturing too far would be unwise. We eventually settled on a long overnight stay at his parents', just an hour away in a small college town. I was thrilled to be in a new setting, if even for a day! I love our new home, being unpacked, and having all the space, but sitting around (it was still too hot to enjoy being outside and 9 months pregnant--and my boys are having adverse reactions to the multitude of mosquitos this summer) inside without anything to do was driving me crazy. I know that I'll probably spend much more time in these 4 walls once Blessing comes, so I was desperate to go somewhere.

It was nice to be away for a while. The grandparents loved playing with the boys, Craig and I got to go out for dessert Friday evening, and I even got to go shopping! By myself! I had a gift card with a tiny balance left on it, and the store is not one we have close by, so I took advantage of the free baby-sitting and went and found a cute skirt on clearance to wear once this baby bump deflates a little. 

A change in scenery was just what I needed. I came home and today got lots of little things done around the house that I'd been avoiding. At this point, I think it's safe to say that the baby can come whenever he likes, and we will be glad to meet him and ready as well. That's about it for today. I'll leave you with a photo of my hubby playing at Grandma's on Saturday. The boys love wrestling and climbing on him!

Until next time, take care and God bless! Prayers for a healthy delivery and recovery are appreciated.

Today's encouraging verse: "If the LORD delights in a man's ways, He makes his steps firm; though he stumbles, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand." Psalm 37:22-23

Almost there!

Yowza! I'm due a week from tomorrow!! I have been hoping all along to have Blessing in September, just because I knew we would be moving this summer, it would be hot as heck, and I just wanted to spend more time with my boys and my hubby. We actually miscalculated his due date for the first month, thinking he would come on September 11. When I went to my first prenatal appointment, we begged the doc for an ultrasound to confirm it was just 1 (wouldn't you, after having twins?!), and he was measuring 2 weeks ahead, so they changed my date to August 29. I've still held out that he's just a big kiddo, and since I was born 3 1/2 weeks after my due date, he should be late too. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but it works in my head :-)

I finally feel like we're ready for this little blessing. We've lived here for nearly a month now, and finally have almost every box unpacked (at least, the ones that needed unpacking), all the shelves hung, and things put in their place. We had a huge hanging party last week where my parents came over and helped us hang most of the photos and shelves, so we could unpack all the little things that were cluttering up our space and our minds. Just about the only things in boxes still are the boys' clothes (both outgrown and soon-to-be worn sizes), and some random screws and wall hangings we don't plan to use right now. We have so much space compared to our apartment, we don't need to utilize every inch of wall space like we have in the past! 

We also got to just relax this weekend, for the first time since moving. God hears our prayers! We had gorgeous, cool weather almost all weekend, so we went for a walk on Friday (which I was scared to do until we had more stuff completed--didn't want to set off contractions!), the boys painted in our craft area (pictured below), played outside in the yard, weeded the flower bed, watched some Olympics, and my hubby and I even snuggled together while we stayed up and watched a movie the other night! We've been enjoying our new home, and he even said this week, "This is exactly what I pictured when we were buying our home." I am so thrilled! I even promised the boys we would go to the zoo tomorrow. We won't walk the whole circuit, because I have little stamina right now, but we'll ride the train and the boat and see some of our favorite animals.

Now that things are falling into place, I feel like we can better mentally prepare ourselves for this child as well. We got to discuss some goals today for the coming week, we have been praying and reading together more, and my hubby can come home and just spend time with the boys and I, instead of hurrying through dinner so we can get whatever project crossed off our to-do list. I still have a list (I always have a list...), but the pertinent items are quickly going away, and the rest of the stuff is mainly just aesthetic or wish-list items, like some fabric projects I have had supplies for since we moved last, or digital organizing on the laptop. Nothing that should keep me up at night, like not having the car seat installed in the van or anything.

Since I feel as though we're set up at home, I took some photos of the house so I can have a record of what it looks like before the baby. I don't know how long things will look this good (it could use some tidying, but I wanted to get this posted soon), but for now, this is where we call "home."

This is the living room, taken from the kitchen. We love the fireplace as the focal point, and how open it is to the rest of the house. Lots of room for entertaining!

This is my kitchen, minus the fridge (off to the left). I love how much space there is for us to move around, and all 4 of us can be in the kitchen at the same time. I even bought some cute little stools from IKEA so the boys can help me cook and bake.

Our pretty new dining set! There's a bench on the other side, so it seats about 6 or 7 with little people on the bench. The stairs to the basement are off to the side.

My (very full!) pantry and lesson corner. I hope to be able to start giving piano and guitar lessons here once Blessing is sleeping better and life calms down a bit.

The boys' bunk beds and trundle. Their room is still pretty basic, by design. They have all their books in here, but just the one large cube to play with, so that they associate this room with sleeping and not play. And also, so the toys stay downstairs and not all over the house.

I love their little reading nook! We took the doors off the closet since we put all their clothes in the dresser, so I found a fun, cheap lamp at IKEA and put their giraffes in here. They love to curl up in there and read.

The master bedroom in this house was actually 2 bedrooms, converted into 1 master suite. It has a nice walk-in closet (behind the door) and an extra several feet that made the perfect space for a crib and glider. I don't love the idea of the baby being in our room for a long time (they make so many noises when they sleep!), but I am not ready for the boys to be in the 3rd bedroom downstairs for a couple of years, so this was our only other option. We'll make it work...

Here's the rest of our master. Not too much going on, as all we really do in there is sleep and dress. The shelf on the wall has a hanging I made for our wedding reception 5 years ago that says "happily ever after." 

There is a door from our room to the bathroom (pictured in the corner), as well as an entrance from the hallway. We put a motion sensor in the light switch so the boys don't have to get help to turn on the light every time they need to pee. It works great, until the cat decides to explore the toilet at 2 a.m.

That concludes the tour of the upstairs! Downstairs is one large open room that we've divided up into crafts, hubby crafts, entertainment, and play. It is also home to the 3rd bedroom and my laundry/utility room.

Here is the current craft area. I have some cans that I spray-painted to hang on the pegboard, as well as a few other hanging bits, but haven't gotten around to finishing them up yet. The rack is an over-the-toilet rack from our 2nd bathroom at the apartment, but we only have 1 here, so this is now my felt rack :-)

Here is my hubby's craft area, courtesy of IKEA. We are very fond of that store, if you haven't noticed. He assembles and paints Games Workshop miniatures, so he needed a place to do that and store them. 

Here is the boys' play area. I can't imagine them having more toys than what they already have (it's a pain to keep track of everything and keep it organized), but we have lots of room to grow.

Lastly, this is the entertainment area. We had just finished dinner downstairs while we watched the Closing Ceremony in Rio, otherwise it's usually a little neater. The "entertainment center" is made of 4 IKEA Billy bookshelves, and they had the doors on sale for 75% off! We didn't mind that they didn't match for that price!

There you have it. This is where we'll call home, hopefully for the next several years. It isn't extravagant,  but I think we'll be content here, and we definitely have room to grow. And it's OURS! I wanted to paint every wall, which we did, before we even put a piece of furniture in, since we've been surrounded by beige apartment colors for the last 5 years. It's so refreshing, and it makes it feel cleaner to me.

That's all I've got time for today. We have our first Parents As Teachers meeting of the year first thing tomorrow, followed by the zoo, so I need to get my rest. Maybe I'll have a baby update next week, and maybe not. Either way, I'm okay with it now. Take care and God bless!

Today's encouraging verse: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God; and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds, in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Blessing's dresser

Just a quick post today to show off the handiwork I've been doing over the last week! My parents found a dresser for Blessing a couple of months ago, and it was over at their place until we got moved. I meant to get it all prettied up before the move, but of course, that got pushed aside while I was packing.

I finally got around to sanding it last week, and painted 2 coats of leftover paint from the boys' closet (which we took the doors off and made into a reading nook) on it. The handles were tarnished and brassy, which I didn't care for, so I was just going to replace them, but the holes were too far apart for modern hardware. So instead of spending $40+ to replace them and cover the holes (I wanted it done asap, instead of having to fill the holes and repaint), we spray painted them using Rust-oleum metallic paint. They turned out beautifully! I forgot to pick up some steel wool, so we just painted right over them without doing anything, and they still turned out well. I'm trying to think of anything else we can use the rest of the paint for, because they look so good :-)

Here's the before photo (almost--I forgot to take a photo before I sanded the top):

And there's the after:

Somewhere along the way, we lost 2 of the screws for the handles, so I'll have to replace those and put the last 2 little knobs on. I'm glad to finally have the handles on, though, because the doors are very sticky when they're closed all the way.

There's another project crossed off my to-do list this week! Now to bake some of those goodies for the freezer...

Today's encouraging verse: "If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord." Romans 14:8

Untitled

I don't really know what to call today's post. Maybe I'll come up with something by the end.

I guess "the waiting game--part II" would be a good name. Tomorrow we'll be 38 weeks, and still no sign of my little guy. I think he may be enjoying his time in there pretty well though, because he's been throwing little dance parties all day today. Maybe it's a farewell party or something. 

Not that I want to have him yet. I've still got lots of items on my to-do list, like baking about 5 recipes to fill up the freezer and use up my baking stock, hanging all the shelves in our home, and unpacking loads of photos and knick-knacks. Not to mention swimming, relaxing, spending some quality time with my hubby and my boys, and praying a whole lot for our growing family. It seems like these are the items that keep getting shoved lower and lower down my list. 

My husband and I both discussed last week about how the weekend we would take it easy, spend time relaxing and working on our hobbies, and not worry about all the stuff that needed doing. Suffice it to say, that didn't happen. We both spent most of the weekend assembling IKEA furniture, doing laundry and dishes, hanging a few key items, cleaning baby strollers and seats, delivering cardboard boxes to our apartment dumpster, shopping for hardware odds and ends, bathing and getting his hair cut, troubleshooting camera issues and taking photos, and listening to our little people bicker over toys. 

We didn't go swimming all day yesterday like we had planned, we didn't get to spend time cuddling on the couch while the boys were napping, we didn't get to pray together and do our weekly accountability, and we didn't play outside for more than a few moments while we cleaned up the garage a bit.

I know the little things do need to get done, and they will nag at both of us until they are finished, but I went to bed last night so sad and depressed. Little L'aig was upset about something trivial right before bedtime, and was crying pretty hard, so I hugged him and cried with him for a while before putting him under covers. This is hard for all of us, and I know they can sense how stressed we are right now, and it has to be affecting them too. 

I wish we could have had the relaxing weekend we hoped for, because now my hubby is going back to a very stressful work environment for the next few weeks until they can get more people hired, and he needs the break when he comes home. I tried for the first couple of nights last week to ask nothing of him when he came home, but he was feeling pretty good and did a few things of his own initiation, so I asked him for a thing or two the third night, and then by the weekend, we were going full steam ahead. 

My prayer for the week will be that God will let us have the rest we need, and allow us to wait to add to our family until we've had that break, whether it be next weekend, or a few nights of ease this week, or two weeks from now! I would hate to bring a new baby into this stressed-out, strained relationship until it's had a little time to mend, for all our sakes. God's timing is perfect, but He also gives us the desires of our hearts.

On a lighter note, we were able to get a couple of good shots in our photo shoot this evening. I was hoping to have more of a "maternity" photo shoot, with the boys kissing my belly and other cute poses, but we also didn't have a single shot of our new home, so we started out there. The cat was not into it, but we got her to sit still for a moment before she tried to claw her way out of my arms and back inside.

The whole family on the stoop of our new home!!

I hope I'm able to post again before Blessing joins us, but if not, take care and God bless.

Today's encouraging verse: "But do not forget this, my friends: with the LORD a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day. The LORD is not slow in keeping His promise as some understand slowness; He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:8-9

No news is good news...

37 1/2 weeks and still no baby! Not that I want him to come this early, I am just nervous about when he finally will arrive.

I had another exam on Wednesday, and my OB said he has dropped, but still little or no dilation, which I take as a good sign. I asked if he thought I would make it to my appointment next week, and he said, "Maybe? I don't think you'll go full term." Yikes! That got my attention! 

I still have boxes to unpack, shelves to hang, and little boys to love on, so I hurried home and got busy. I still have boxes to unpack, shelves to hang, and little boys to love on, but I got the dresser 95% finished (sanded and 2 coats of paint later--photos to come after I get new hardware), got the doors from Ikea on our bookcases downstairs, unpacked the rest of the boys' toys, and put the baby's clothes in his new dresser. My awesome hubby took a 2nd row captain's chair out of the van and put the boys' new convertible booster seats in the 3rd row, and we put the base and car seat in the remaining middle row. I vacuumed the whole car and cleaned out the garbage since the move, and added our overnight bags for the hospital and staying at Grandma's. The fridge is stocked with plenty of groceries if we had to go without a trip to the store for a short time, the cat has an extra bowl of food out in case we're gone for a few days, and the laundry is done and put away. 

I got busy on my list of projects to do this weekend, so that hopefully by Monday, if Blessing hasn't come yet, we'll be moved in and ready for him. Nothing to do after that but wait and enjoy our time as a family of 4. 

The boys are doing surprisingly well with everything so far, although L'aig is going to have a very hard time sharing once Blessing is old enough to play. He wants everything Bl'aig has, only 2 seconds after Bl'aig has picked it up. They even wore matching shirts today (something we rarely do) because brother picked it out and he wanted it. We took dinner to some friends of ours that had a little guy on Tuesday, and L'aig was very clingy when Daddy got to hold the baby. I hope he adjusts okay when our little man comes. I'm sure we'll have lots of talks about how Mommy and Daddy don't love him any less, but that the baby needs a lot of our attention right now. That was my biggest fear when I found out we were pregnant; that my twins, who already share everything and have always had to deal with our divided attention, would lose out on even more 1-on-1 time with their parents. I know I'm not the only one who's ever had this come up.

The boys did something yesterday that completely threw me for a loop. I was outside (on one of the hottest days of the year!) trying to get the dresser painted in time to dry when my family came over to help my hubby move it inside. I was sweating bullets, stuck in our tiny garage with a small fan, 9 months pregnant, leaning over this thing and all 9 of its drawers. I told them to go down to their playroom and play (we're attempting to keep all the toys in the basement) while I worked outside, but I guess they grew bored of that after a while. 

I finally came inside (after about 45 minutes, most of which I could hear them laughing and throwing their bouncy balls and such downstairs), and heard nothing. I quickly looked around and saw L'aig on the couch, but he looked wet. Well, at least his shirt did. Then he said, "Did [Bl'aig] get you all wet?" (We're still working on their use of declarative instead of interrogative...) So I looked for Bl'aig and saw the bathroom light on. Before I could set down my paintbrush, he came out of the bathroom, slipped and fell and hit his head on the tile floor and started wailing. I rushed over to him, and saw the entire bathroom floor covered in water! 

Luckily, he was fine, although a little shaky from his fall, and sobbing, I set him down on his bedroom carpet and stripped him down because his clothes were soaked through. Then, I lost it. I am not bragging at all, just telling it like it is, because I am fallible and make mistakes (sometimes, very big ones) just like everyone else. I railed on him for playing in the water, getting water on everything in the bathroom (he must have been busy for a while), and for falling. I yelled like I've not yelled before at him, and then I spanked him for doing something so unsafe. 

And then I felt horrible. He just stood there, naked, in his bedroom doorway crying and saying "I'm sorry, Mommy," So I went over to him and picked him up, took him through the other doorway to the toilet and sat him down so he could go potty. I sat across from him and told him (much more calmly) that I love him and I was sorry I got upset with him. I asked L'aig to come in and took off his wet clothes, told Bl'aig to say he was sorry to brother, and got them both towels to help clean up the mess. They did such a good job cleaning up the water off the floor, and then went in to their room and lay down for naps. I hugged each of them and told them again how much I love them and left them to sleep. 

I'm not at all proud of how I handled the situation. As my husband sometimes has to remind me, they are only 2, even though they often exceed our expectations of how 2-year-olds are supposed to act. They are such amazing children--intelligent, caring, compassionate, well-behaved, helpful, and sweet--and when they do misbehave it throws me off. 

I think their behavior is part of God's apology for giving us 2 at once; He never gives us more than we can handle, but He also challenges us in the process. These kinds of events, while few and far between, definitely challenge me, and I think they cause me to grow and see where my faults still lie.

I am a pretty tidy person, and I don't like disorder. Having water all over everything in the bathroom (especially the rugs that I just washed) pushed all the right buttons for me to practically implode. Not to mention, having to lean over my gigantic belly when I was still dripping with sweat from being outdoors. That doesn't justify my actions, but looking back, I can see how all of that escalated into my having a very short fuse and yelling like I did. 

Hopefully, next time something like this happens (and I know it will someday), I can remember how I reacted, and how terrible it felt afterward, and not let myself lose it like that. My throat is still sore. I'm sure Bl'aig will not soon forget getting yelled at like that, but hopefully he will also remember that I hugged him immediately and told him how much I love him as well. 

So with that confession (like no one else ever lost their temper), I should probably call it a night. As the tag line to my blog says, "A glimpse into the fun and sometimes not-so-fun life of raising twin boys with God-centered intentions." This is one of those "not-so-fun" times. I will still put either of my boys up to any child their age and see who has the more mature offspring, as they are wonderful little people. But, alas, they are still two and make mistakes. If they're anything like their Mommy, they will make lots of mistakes, even some really huge ones. I love them, and I wouldn't trade them for all the money, success, recognition, or any person in this world. God has truly blessed me with an amazing family, and hopefully one day very soon, I'll get to add another one to it. 

I'll hopefully get to post again before Blessing comes, at least with photos of his dresser, if not something like a whole-house tour. If not, it might be a while before my next post, which may or may not be very short. I don't know what life will be like with an infant and 2 toddlers. I guess I'll just have to wait and see... 

Take care and God bless!

Today's encourgaging verse: "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

New territory!

All this past week we've been in new territory with the pregnancy, since I had the boys the day they turned 36 weeks. At the beginning of the week, I was freaking out a little more than I probably should have, because I just didn't know what to expect after that point. Blessing could have come at any moment, in my mind, because I hadn't had any of the regular signals of labor with the twins. I went in for my weekly fetal monitoring, and they said I needed to have the babies that day, so I called my hubby and we had them via c-section that evening. No dilation, no contractions (that I noticed, anyway; that's another story for another time), no water breaking, no panicked trip to the hospital, just another day in the life of my pregnancy.

Luckily, by Wednesday's 36 week appointment, I had calmed down a little, but when the doctor asked me if I wanted to find out if I was dilated, I said, "Yes, but please don't tell me if I am!" I was so scared he would say I was at a 6 or something, but thankfully, he said the baby isn't in my pelvis yet (which I guess is a good thing), and I wasn't dilated. I took that to mean that I probably had at least another week until he comes, which means I've scheduled as much as I can muster in the next 2 days before my next appointment and vaginal exam.

This past weekend has been awesomely productive: with the help of my mother-in-law, I now have a full freezer with at least 3 weeks' worth of easy-to-prepare crock pot meals, or fully cooked meals that just need a good reheating, several mornings' worth of breakfast burritos, lots of lactation bites and cookies (my new favorite cookies ever since the boys were born!), and some yummy sweets that I had stock-piled ingredients for last Christmas when they were on sale.

My hubby also cleaned out the garage of all the odd items that had not yet found a home since our move, so the only things in there are moving boxes (which we're saving for my brother, who is also moving this month), the things that belong in the garage (our "mud room," since the space is too cramped for an actual car to fit), and Blessing's dresser, which I will get to sand and paint over the next couple of days. My parents found it at a garage sale, and it is retro-tastic and yellow, so it needs a bit of an update and a good cleaning before I let it come into my beautiful new home. I'll post some before and after pics when I get it finished.

I cleaned all of the baby's clothes up to size 3 months, most of which were garage sale finds from my mom, hand-me-downs from my nephew, and a small supply of cute outfits from Carter's clearance this summer. I can't help but wish we had kept at least part of the twins' wardrobe instead of donating every last item to the Salvation Army. We were awesomely blessed by friends, family, and coworkers with not one, two, or three showers, but we had 4 amazing baby showers and had oodles of adorable, some matching, nearly all coordinating, clothes for our little guys. When they outgrew them, we were still living in the ever-shrinking 2-bedroom apartment, so we had to do something with them. Instead of putting them in one of our parents' basements, we just donated every last article, except for 2 onesies that they came home from the hospital in. Someone got a GREAT deal on some barely used, awesome clothes at that thrift store! Now, aside from the Carter's items I bought, there is hardly a complete outfit to put together. NOT that I'm complaining, he'll still have more clothes than me, and I'm so grateful to have gotten the items we did that we didn't have to pay for, I just wish we'd had more foresight and saved the stuff we had...

Enough of that. As if my first-world problems weren't enough, here I am lamenting that my child's nearly free wardrobe isn't cute enough, and regretting donating all our nice things to help less fortunate people clothe their children, in my new home with great air-conditioning on this warm summer night. God, forgive me, for I know not how blessed I am.

Speaking of cute outfits, here is a very current photo of my handsome boys after their pre-baby haircuts last week, taken this evening:

I asked them both to go pick out shirts from their dresser, and the first thing Bl'aig brought me was his overalls. I told him he could wear them, but he also needed a shirt, and that didn't sit well with him until we got everything on. Then L'aig, not to be outdone by brother, picked up his overalls and no shirt. There is nothing like little boys in overalls though...

If this post is a little bit meandering, I'll blame it on the pregnancy brain. It comes and goes with me. I do pretty well for the most part, but every once in a while it creeps in and interrupts my train of thought. Oh well, it's late and I have lots on my plate for tomorrow and Tuesday. I stopped making plans for later this week until my appointment on Wednesday, when I'll hopefully find out that I'm still not dilated and the baby's head has still not dropped. In the meantime, I'll be praying for my friend that is at 41 weeks and will be induced if she doesn't have her little guy by Tuesday. I hope Blessing stays put that long. That would be amazing! Think of all the things I can accomplish in the next 4 weeks, now that we're almost all unpacked...

Until next time, take care and God bless!

Today's encouraging verse: "Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these." Luke 12:27

36 weeks (almost...)

I started this blog at this exact moment in my pregnancy last time. At 36 weeks, we were thrilled our little guys didn't have to spend any mandatory time in the NICU, as so many twin parents have had to deal with. God had His hand on us throughout that pregnancy, and the timing of our boys coming on October 28, 2013 was perfect. I was scared then, although about totally different things.

How was I going to take care of 2 infants at the same time? Would I be a good mom? Would I be able to breastfeed? How would we afford 2 children, buying 2 of everything they needed at the same time? How would I chase them through the grocery store when they ran off in different directions (this one is still a mind-boggle to me...)? Would they be healthy? Would they both make it through birth? What if they came too early?

This time around, I have various other concerns: how can I take good care of my baby (and myself) and still give my toddlers the attention and support they need? How will a 3rd child affect my marriage? I know it is hard for my boys to have to share everything, from Mommy and Daddy's time and attention, toys, beds, the same room, to having the same birthday as someone you live with and spend nearly every moment next to. I should be cherishing these last few days and weeks we have left before the baby comes and devoting myself to spending quality time with them, but we did just move, and there's so much to do to get the house in order and the baby items ready. I have felt guilty on many occasions that I'm not spending enough time with them. I know other 2nd-time parents have faced this same problem, but it will be hard to split my time between 3 needy little dudes (and 1 big one!), and I'm not looking forward to that. I hope that I can be the Mom and Wife that each of them needs when it really matters.

While I feel ready to be a "mom" this time around (I think I'm doing okay in that department...), there are still lots of things I know I need to improve in myself as a parent. I am looking forward to trying some things a little differently this time around, and hopefully having a little more freedom (you try carrying 2 car seats, a bulging diaper bag, and a purse everywhere you go!) earlier in little Blessing's life than I did with the twins. I don't remember much from the first 9 months of their lives, except that sleeping was hard, nursing was non-stop, and we didn't go out much or for long, because it's really hard to tandem nurse in public.

I will leave you with a photo of my precious little guys getting along so well, as they often do, and hope I get another chance to write before Blessing makes his debut. Being a mom is hard work, but moments like these make all your efforts worth it.

Today's encouraging verse: "You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in Your Word." Psalm 119:114

Not babies anymore...

So, you probably think I fell off the face of the planet, don't you? Well, you're not far off. Truthfully, being a parent of 2 tiny humans AND trying to do all the "supermom" things that I've done over the last 2 years, AND writing captivating blog posts that are worth putting on the web for the whole wide world to read is a bit taxing, and for a long while, I just haven't felt like I've had anything to say. I know, I could finish up my series on breastfeeding that was so exhaustive to relive, but I think that description speaks for itself. Instead, I took some time off, almost completely forgot about the blog, and planned to never update with a new post again, kind of like the Xanga, MySpace, and Facebook accounts I have floating around cyberspace.

But, for some reason, I'm in the mood to write. I have 2 other blogs to my name, one I try to update fairly regularly (once a month is my average), and the other, I haven't touched in almost as long as this one. Yet somehow each of them still gets traffic, for being nearly 2 years dormant. I guess someone in this universe cares enough to read them, and can maybe be encouraged by them. I'm sure my story is like many people's stories, but maybe that's what gets people to continue reading. After all, I know I'm not the only person who struggled with birthing twins, breastfeeding, feeling overwhelmed, and overcoming the odds to raise 2 handsome, charming, sweet, energetic, wonderful little men. Perhaps they, like me, enjoy knowing it doesn't always have to be chaos, nor is it always as easy as it looks. So I'll write some more, while the mood strikes me, and share some of my experiences with you.

The first thing I should probably share with you is that I'm a bit quirky. If you haven't figured it out already from some of my previous posts, I am fairly emotional, particular about many things, and don't always do things the conventional way. 

For instance, my hubby's and my relationship is not your textbook, by any means. I was friends with him for 9 years before I even thought about him romantically, and now, he is the only person I could ever imagine myself being with. He is my best friend, and was at the time, but I had been married, divorced, lived with an ex-boyfriend, moved out, had dated and been in many relationships even just during the time I knew him, let alone the time before we met. He, on the other hand, had never even had a girlfriend, or even a second date with anyone. 

We courted for 2 months, got engaged, and married 4 months later, and I was the first girl he'd even kissed. No long engagement leading up to a ridiculously expensive and formal wedding for us! We got married on a Wednesday in a garden, barefoot, with just our closest friends and immediate family there! I wore a beautiful blue dress, and he wore a new shirt and vest (and pants, of course), and we were wed in less than 8 minutes, which was about 4 minutes longer than I had planned for the ceremony. We are still blissfully happy nearly 5 years later, and we give God glory and owe it just the tiniest bit to our non-traditional lifestyle.

Another thing you might have guessed from the photo above: I'm pregnant. Eight months, to be exact. As if life weren't already crazy enough with 2 very energetic and sometimes needy little toddlers running around, we are about to add to our brood another little man in just about 7 weeks (I hope!). 

Since we don't do things the conventional way, we thought we would wait until the month before our little guy is due to buy a house and move (eek!). We have been pretty happy renters the last 5 years while we paid off debt and saved a decent amount, but when we discovered we were pregnant in January (surprise!), we realized our new 3-bedroom apartment wouldn't accommodate a family of 5 plus all our hobbies and play areas very well. Plus, we are paying nearly $1000 a month that we could be earning in equity on a house, so we needed to find a place, and hopefully before the baby comes. Since we are renters, we are in a lease, and there are penalties for breaking that lease, so we wanted to buy as close to our contract end date as possible, but still be able to be in the house and HOPEFULLY settled before the baby comes. I just keep praying the little guy is comfortable and doesn't decide to surprise us at 36 weeks like the twins did...

Life is a little more stressful and a fair bit more hectic right now than I would have hoped for this summer, but my wonderful little men are taking everything in stride, being their awesome selves, and just enjoying all that life has to offer 2 year olds. The next few weeks will be a whirlwind (we close Friday!), with packing, painting, moving, unpacking, nesting, and preparing for Blessing (#3's nickname), but at least at the end of the tunnel we will have lots of new blessings to call our own.

I think I'll call it quits while I'm still making sense, even if things don't "flow" very well. There will be more adventures to write about, more anecdotes to share, and lots more thoughts to get out, but this is enough for one post. I will write when I have something to say, so don't be offended if it is a while between posts. I would rather have something useful or wise as opposed to quantity, and I don't do well having to write on a regular schedule. I hope this encourages someone to step outside the box and do things their own way, if nothing else. Take care and God bless. Until next time...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11