36 weeks (almost...)

I started this blog at this exact moment in my pregnancy last time. At 36 weeks, we were thrilled our little guys didn't have to spend any mandatory time in the NICU, as so many twin parents have had to deal with. God had His hand on us throughout that pregnancy, and the timing of our boys coming on October 28, 2013 was perfect. I was scared then, although about totally different things.

How was I going to take care of 2 infants at the same time? Would I be a good mom? Would I be able to breastfeed? How would we afford 2 children, buying 2 of everything they needed at the same time? How would I chase them through the grocery store when they ran off in different directions (this one is still a mind-boggle to me...)? Would they be healthy? Would they both make it through birth? What if they came too early?

This time around, I have various other concerns: how can I take good care of my baby (and myself) and still give my toddlers the attention and support they need? How will a 3rd child affect my marriage? I know it is hard for my boys to have to share everything, from Mommy and Daddy's time and attention, toys, beds, the same room, to having the same birthday as someone you live with and spend nearly every moment next to. I should be cherishing these last few days and weeks we have left before the baby comes and devoting myself to spending quality time with them, but we did just move, and there's so much to do to get the house in order and the baby items ready. I have felt guilty on many occasions that I'm not spending enough time with them. I know other 2nd-time parents have faced this same problem, but it will be hard to split my time between 3 needy little dudes (and 1 big one!), and I'm not looking forward to that. I hope that I can be the Mom and Wife that each of them needs when it really matters.

While I feel ready to be a "mom" this time around (I think I'm doing okay in that department...), there are still lots of things I know I need to improve in myself as a parent. I am looking forward to trying some things a little differently this time around, and hopefully having a little more freedom (you try carrying 2 car seats, a bulging diaper bag, and a purse everywhere you go!) earlier in little Blessing's life than I did with the twins. I don't remember much from the first 9 months of their lives, except that sleeping was hard, nursing was non-stop, and we didn't go out much or for long, because it's really hard to tandem nurse in public.

I will leave you with a photo of my precious little guys getting along so well, as they often do, and hope I get another chance to write before Blessing makes his debut. Being a mom is hard work, but moments like these make all your efforts worth it.

Today's encouraging verse: "You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in Your Word." Psalm 119:114