I had another exam on Wednesday, and my OB said he has dropped, but still little or no dilation, which I take as a good sign. I asked if he thought I would make it to my appointment next week, and he said, "Maybe? I don't think you'll go full term." Yikes! That got my attention!
I still have boxes to unpack, shelves to hang, and little boys to love on, so I hurried home and got busy. I still have boxes to unpack, shelves to hang, and little boys to love on, but I got the dresser 95% finished (sanded and 2 coats of paint later--photos to come after I get new hardware), got the doors from Ikea on our bookcases downstairs, unpacked the rest of the boys' toys, and put the baby's clothes in his new dresser. My awesome hubby took a 2nd row captain's chair out of the van and put the boys' new convertible booster seats in the 3rd row, and we put the base and car seat in the remaining middle row. I vacuumed the whole car and cleaned out the garbage since the move, and added our overnight bags for the hospital and staying at Grandma's. The fridge is stocked with plenty of groceries if we had to go without a trip to the store for a short time, the cat has an extra bowl of food out in case we're gone for a few days, and the laundry is done and put away.
I got busy on my list of projects to do this weekend, so that hopefully by Monday, if Blessing hasn't come yet, we'll be moved in and ready for him. Nothing to do after that but wait and enjoy our time as a family of 4.
The boys are doing surprisingly well with everything so far, although L'aig is going to have a very hard time sharing once Blessing is old enough to play. He wants everything Bl'aig has, only 2 seconds after Bl'aig has picked it up. They even wore matching shirts today (something we rarely do) because brother picked it out and he wanted it. We took dinner to some friends of ours that had a little guy on Tuesday, and L'aig was very clingy when Daddy got to hold the baby. I hope he adjusts okay when our little man comes. I'm sure we'll have lots of talks about how Mommy and Daddy don't love him any less, but that the baby needs a lot of our attention right now. That was my biggest fear when I found out we were pregnant; that my twins, who already share everything and have always had to deal with our divided attention, would lose out on even more 1-on-1 time with their parents. I know I'm not the only one who's ever had this come up.
The boys did something yesterday that completely threw me for a loop. I was outside (on one of the hottest days of the year!) trying to get the dresser painted in time to dry when my family came over to help my hubby move it inside. I was sweating bullets, stuck in our tiny garage with a small fan, 9 months pregnant, leaning over this thing and all 9 of its drawers. I told them to go down to their playroom and play (we're attempting to keep all the toys in the basement) while I worked outside, but I guess they grew bored of that after a while.
I finally came inside (after about 45 minutes, most of which I could hear them laughing and throwing their bouncy balls and such downstairs), and heard nothing. I quickly looked around and saw L'aig on the couch, but he looked wet. Well, at least his shirt did. Then he said, "Did [Bl'aig] get you all wet?" (We're still working on their use of declarative instead of interrogative...) So I looked for Bl'aig and saw the bathroom light on. Before I could set down my paintbrush, he came out of the bathroom, slipped and fell and hit his head on the tile floor and started wailing. I rushed over to him, and saw the entire bathroom floor covered in water!
Luckily, he was fine, although a little shaky from his fall, and sobbing, I set him down on his bedroom carpet and stripped him down because his clothes were soaked through. Then, I lost it. I am not bragging at all, just telling it like it is, because I am fallible and make mistakes (sometimes, very big ones) just like everyone else. I railed on him for playing in the water, getting water on everything in the bathroom (he must have been busy for a while), and for falling. I yelled like I've not yelled before at him, and then I spanked him for doing something so unsafe.
And then I felt horrible. He just stood there, naked, in his bedroom doorway crying and saying "I'm sorry, Mommy," So I went over to him and picked him up, took him through the other doorway to the toilet and sat him down so he could go potty. I sat across from him and told him (much more calmly) that I love him and I was sorry I got upset with him. I asked L'aig to come in and took off his wet clothes, told Bl'aig to say he was sorry to brother, and got them both towels to help clean up the mess. They did such a good job cleaning up the water off the floor, and then went in to their room and lay down for naps. I hugged each of them and told them again how much I love them and left them to sleep.
I'm not at all proud of how I handled the situation. As my husband sometimes has to remind me, they are only 2, even though they often exceed our expectations of how 2-year-olds are supposed to act. They are such amazing children--intelligent, caring, compassionate, well-behaved, helpful, and sweet--and when they do misbehave it throws me off.
I think their behavior is part of God's apology for giving us 2 at once; He never gives us more than we can handle, but He also challenges us in the process. These kinds of events, while few and far between, definitely challenge me, and I think they cause me to grow and see where my faults still lie.
I am a pretty tidy person, and I don't like disorder. Having water all over everything in the bathroom (especially the rugs that I just washed) pushed all the right buttons for me to practically implode. Not to mention, having to lean over my gigantic belly when I was still dripping with sweat from being outdoors. That doesn't justify my actions, but looking back, I can see how all of that escalated into my having a very short fuse and yelling like I did.
Hopefully, next time something like this happens (and I know it will someday), I can remember how I reacted, and how terrible it felt afterward, and not let myself lose it like that. My throat is still sore. I'm sure Bl'aig will not soon forget getting yelled at like that, but hopefully he will also remember that I hugged him immediately and told him how much I love him as well.
So with that confession (like no one else ever lost their temper), I should probably call it a night. As the tag line to my blog says, "A glimpse into the fun and sometimes not-so-fun life of raising twin boys with God-centered intentions." This is one of those "not-so-fun" times. I will still put either of my boys up to any child their age and see who has the more mature offspring, as they are wonderful little people. But, alas, they are still two and make mistakes. If they're anything like their Mommy, they will make lots of mistakes, even some really huge ones. I love them, and I wouldn't trade them for all the money, success, recognition, or any person in this world. God has truly blessed me with an amazing family, and hopefully one day very soon, I'll get to add another one to it.
I'll hopefully get to post again before Blessing comes, at least with photos of his dresser, if not something like a whole-house tour. If not, it might be a while before my next post, which may or may not be very short. I don't know what life will be like with an infant and 2 toddlers. I guess I'll just have to wait and see...
Take care and God bless!
Today's encourgaging verse: "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11
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