He has been encouraging me all along to go ahead with the VBAC, saying that I have a great build for childbirth and that I seem to be strong enough to power through anything. I took both of those things as compliments, although I know what he really means is that I have a really big pelvis and I'm stubborn enough to suffer through the pain of labor and delivery ;-)
When we passed my estimated due date this Monday, he was getting concerned that I am not dilated at all, my cervix doesn't seem to be ripening, and that the baby seems to be in no hurry to come. I challenged him with my due date theory, and he recalculated based on all the ultrasounds we've had and Blessing's approximate size, and found that I could be correct, but he wanted another ultrasound with biophysical report to make sure that he is still doing well. Everything came back great except he is measuring over 10 1/2 pounds! I thought I would be giving birth to a large kiddo, but didn't expect him to be that big. I also know from the twins that those estimated weights can be off by over a pound, as the boys were each measured the morning I delivered at over a pound less than they actually weighed.
This news alarmed us both. When we talked afterward, he said that he was very much for VBAC (which many doctors tend to shy away from), but in this case, there is a great chance that if I deliver vaginally, there could be a lot of tearing and bruising, Blessing could get stuck in the birth canal, he could suffer a shoulder injury, or there is a better chance of my uterus actually rupturing. None of those options sounded like something I wanted to deal with or live with the guilt of after a fairly easy pregnancy, so I told him I would discuss with my husband about what we needed to do.
Of course, I know there are plenty of risks with c-sections, let alone repeat c-sections, but in the end we prayerfully considered the options and decided to go with the guaranteed delivery date and what we hope will be a wonderful and joyous outcome for all of us. It doesn't hurt that both his and my parents were off for the long weekend, my brother and his family were planning to come from out of town, and Craig will get an extra day of leave since he works for a bank :-)
That's how I got scheduled for a 7:30 am delivery in September. Of course, I have to be there way before the rooster crows tomorrow, so I really need to cut this off and go to bed, but hopefully in about 12 more hours the surgery will be completed, I will be in recovery with my newest little son, and everyone will be rejoicing in the waiting room.
I am a little disappointed that I will have 3 children and have no idea what labor is like. I'm not one of those people that thinks childbirth is the most beautiful thing ever, nor was I planning to do it without meds. To be honest, I was terrified to be responsible for knowing when I actually went in to labor (I've got no idea how to control pain and was scared to be in that much of it), so I prayed Wednesday morning that God would be blatantly obvious with me, have my water break or something, so I would know that it was time. I was planning to have an epidural at the first twinge of uncomfort, and was afraid that Blessing's head would be too large and I'd end up having a massive tear or an episiotomy. I know it's not always in the way that we expect, but God did answer my prayer, and the answer was "c-section." I can't argue with that.
That all being said, I would appreciate prayers and thoughts as we once again prepare to grow our little family. Prayer for a safe and uneventful delivery, a healthy baby boy, a quick recovery, and a restful time in the hospital, followed by a joyous reunion with the twins and homecoming later this weekend would be most appreciated. The boys were shipped away to Grandma's for the weekend, which is another very emotional tale in itself. I can't wait to see them again, but I know I need to rest and spend time getting to know Blessing.
I was planning to be asleep over an hour ago so I can get a good night's sleep in before our appointment. I need to go. Wish us luck and pray for us all if you're so inclined. Thank you and God bless!
Today's encouraging verse: "'Though the mountains may shake and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10
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